Mistake #234897: Trying too hard.

Ooo, yeah baby... I love when you pose with a chip clip in your hair, wearing sweatpants, sitting next to the tall fan in the kitchen... Sexy.

What's wrong here?

Of course, I must point out that she is on public transportation...

Circle the Fashion Offenses: Part II

Fat is popping out in awful places... The birthday girl is wearing a fake Burberry plaid shawl with printed shoes. Is that...? Yes, it is... Clear plastic heels. There are also flip-flops on the left and a pink skirt that is far too tight on the right. Cheetah print with red shoes? I know a very nice stripper that combines the same two elements...

Budweiser?

The only thing worse than consuming beer.... is wearing a beer logo. Well, I guess taking a picture WHILE wearing a beer logo is worse...

Thank you for covering your nipples.

I think...

Top 5 ways to be mistaken for an overworked hooker...

1. Belly-bearing a'la Britney Spears in 1999.

2. Frayed denim skirts.

3. White lace mini-shirt.

4. Jeans that sit too low and drag on the floor of the bar.

5. Winehouse hair.

How do I look?

"Hi, girls! How do I look? I was just making sure everyone here knew that I had boobs... Just to emphasize them, I stuck this fabulous Forever21 charm necklace smack in the middle of them! Sexy, right?"

Show me your guns.

Here is a great example for men of what NOT to do.

1) Never wear a plain T-Shirt out to a bar.
2) Hats are for keeping sun out of your eyes. Now I know most men are stupider then girls, but you have to know it is not sunny at night nor inside.
3) Earrings are hard to pull off for guys. Especially a hoop one while you are trying to prove your masculinity by showing us your guns.
4) Most importantly. Pamela Anderson is 1) a girl 2) trashy. Lets not follow her fashion and get tribal armband tattoos. 90's are over love.

Please tell me this is a costume party...

Actually... that dress would NEVER be acceptable...

You might not want to advertise that...

But when you call her tommorrow morning about that suspicious rash, don't say she didn't warn you...

Crack is Wack

Crack is wack...
So is that strange thing she did to her jeans.
And so is the chip clip in her hair.

Hmm... I don't know why no one takes you seriously...

What's worse? What she's wearing... or what she isn't?

Spare a Pair

I feel bad. It's not nice to make fun of a colorblind substitute teacher while she's taking her students to the Historical Armchair Museum for the 5th year in a row. You ARE a colorblind substitute teacher... right?

Listen, Miss B... I appreciate your lesson on using the graphing calculator, but you MUST learn to subtract those shoes from your wardrobe.

How do I look, girls?

Denim Skirt '99: "How do I look, girls?"

White Pants: "OMG, so good... Like, Anna Nicole Smith on vacay..."

Orange Thunder: "No way! You totally don't look dead yet."

Classy Ladies

Dear Drunken Brunettes,

Where did I go wrong?

Please come back to me! I miss you!

Love,

Your Pants

Tipsy Tuesday Again...

It's tight!

It's shiny!

It's adorned with a Juicy Couture terrycloth bag!

...let the inebriation begin...

Don't Make the Boys Cry

Rules for Going Out:

#1. Never scrunch your hair. It's trashy and dated.

#2. Wear makeup.

#3. Wear a shirt that covers your armpit fat.

#4. Don't make the boys cry... Unless they deserve it.

At least your friend is strong

1. Crack is whack
2. Wait what? You thought you were going to the beach tonight?
3. Note to self: A white lace-up top is never tasteful - and neither are white pleather purses

Prom-tastic

Now we all know that prom was a LONG time ago. But we couldn't resist this purple people eater and her oh-so-originally dressed friends.

Monogram is never the answer...

So... close your eyes imagine that you have no style whatsoever. You want to exude a look of high fashion and creativity. So what do you pick? Monogrammed Louis Vuitton, right? WRONG!

And remmember, ladies.... Boys are only accessories. Pick good ones!

(When you combine the words "Too Cool" you get "Tool")

Thirsty Thursday!

Dear Curly Brunette,

Why do you hate me? I miss you!

Love,

Your Pants

Red Cups

What's wrong with this picture?

1. Nipple clip in hair.
2. Sweatpants ≠ Going out
3. Denim frayed skirt from 2001.
4. Too-short leggings.
5. RED CUPS

Romeo & Juliet

Romeo: Your eyes are like two dead roses, heavy and slightly red. Your curly locks are like Lucky Charms marshmellows, surprisingly crunchy. Your skin is like an orange Creamsicle on a hot day on the Jersey Sho-
Juliette: Fine! You can grab my boob now.

Want to come to my lingerie party?

What? You don't??

Other Uses For Sneakers

We dont like to wear sneakers on our feet either... but that doesnt mean you should drink beer out of them. Beer smells and so do feet. Bad combo.

Side note: If you are at a party (with CAMERAS) why would you wear a zip-up hoodie?

Wacky Wedding Wednesday

Wedding days are suppose to be magical. Not if these are your friends! The girl in the green needs to put on a bra and take that awful red dye out of her to tightly curled locks. What is this prom again??? Out of respect for the bride I wont comment. (even though I should, I mean a strapless dress how original). The last girl need to understand that when dresses have designated triangles for the boobs, you are suppose to fit into them! coming out of the top or bottom is an insult to the bride. Unfortunately you can not dictate what people wear to your wedding which is the reason the barredgirl creators reject marriage.

She did the work for us...

She even black-barred her own eyes for us!
In that case, lets play a new game...
Can you find anything RIGHT with this picture??

I can't.

What is wrong with this picture?

Like my mother always said: "If you don't have anything nice to wear, don't wear anything at all."

...I think that's how it went...

Shoes...omg shoes

Now girls...take a good look at these offensive stompers. Going out in flip flops - a surefire way to either ruin a perfectly good outfit or trash up an already awful one. My friend with the pointy white heels - I'm sure you could have found something much better to buy with your $20 (hair gel for your crunchy locks?) now take those things off before you poke someone's eye out while trying to give them an impromptu in-club lapdance.

Circle the Fashion Offenses

The garish pink top, matched with the plastic pink earrings, is vomit-inducing... To further offend and sicken us, she takes the picture with a tag and a sticker still on her jeans. In addition to her accidental accessorizing, her jeans are too light for the hideous top she is wearing. She tastefully finishes off the photo with a chubby, naked boy. Bravo.

Voted Most Likely to Pull a Britney

...In the lovely bathroom...

Two-for-Tuesdays

It's Tuesday! Know what that means? You get TWO trashy looks for the the price of ONE!

Fake nails!

Poof hair!

No Pants!

Clown Make-up!

Chase these shots with a gulp of pride, girls...

If you just ate a big meal and want something to make you throw up, look no further...

Enough said.

True Class. Opps I mean TRASH

Fake nails went out of style in the early 90's. Cigar, I mean really? or I am being punked? Finally, is she even wearing a shirt?

Juicy Torture

When is it ever OK to wear Juicy to a bar? When is it ever OK to wear Juicy besides the GYM? Also, note the poof circa-2001 on the girl in the far left corner. Ouch.

What ever happened to being "mysterious"? These girls need to learn the difference between sexy and just plain gross.

...And this is why we hate New Jersey.

::Note:: This picture was posted by the fashion offender on her Facebook.

Before I make fun of your cheap-looking mini skirt, can we talk about this seashell anklet?

Where to start?

Where to start ladies? The attempt at actually wearing pants is duly noted, but please, leave the jeans at home. Would it hurt you so much to change before you go out? And no, too-short too-tight tank tops are not sexy, they're trashy, especially when you're not Adriana Lima. I'm sorry to burst your 90's bubble by telling you that they've been out for ohh about 10 years now. I won't even talk about the printed bag who's picking her crotch in the back or the free spirit to the left in her split-sleeve see-thru rave sweater.

Thief!

The girl on the right actually STOLE my curtains and wrapped them around her tank top! What a clepto....

ps. Polka-dot girl knows teaches us all a valuable lesson: It doesn't matter how bad you dress, if your friends look 10x worse.

Please Put on a Shirt

Ok, I'm not saying you have to look like Audrey Hepburn every night... but there are simple steps you can take to ensure that you don't look like trash.



Step 1 - Wear a shirt.
Step 2 - Wear pants.
Step 3 - Wear clothes that fit you.
Step 4 - Accentuate your assets... not everything else.

Puff Paint and Bad Dresses

State school sororities are notorious for puff-paint decorations and bad dresses....
This girl is just perpetuating the stereotype...

What's wrong with this picture?

1. Too much pink fabric.

2. Zip-up hoodie.

3. Black/White/Red Debs dress on the far right.

4. Boob grabbing in some sort of red cheetah on the far left.

...and much, much more...

Feeling Low?

By the looks of your lady lumps, you may actually be too old for this blog...

Bad Hair Day?

Besides the gym, when is it ever OK to go out with hair like this?

ps. Don't even get me started on you, Blue.

Oops, I did it again...

I understand this is a theme night, but that still doesn't mean you should let it all hang out...
Can somebody say, "Wet Seal"?

Table Top vs. Muffin Top

If you must dance on top of the bar, can you at least not wear a stretchy, white, see-through dress?